Pray and Live

22 May

flickr: astralglow

I can’t go to sleep at night without tossing and turning for at least thirty minutes to an hour beforehand. This is in large-part due to the fact that I tend to worry about everything there is to possibly worry about in my life when my head hits the pillow and I’m trying to go to sleep. Last night was like this for me. The night before when my parents and I were still at the condo in N. Myrtle Beach was very much the same, only I actually remember sleeping some, waking up at least two or three times during the night.

Last night, however, I don’t remember falling asleep. If I did fall asleep, I don’t remember waking up. It felt like I’d been lying there all night tossing and turning. When I finally looked at my phone it was 5:55 a.m. And I’d been up for at least thirty minutes before then trying to get to sleep. I don’t know, maybe it was the seafood my parents and I ate Friday night; maybe it was the fact that I had left this blog unfinished in appearance when I went to bed; maybe it was my nervousness over the family reunion coming up in a couple weeks; maybe it was just me needing to get back on a set schedule after a week of vacation.

I remember worrying about inconsequential things that didn’t matter in the middle of the night – things that shouldn’t have kept me up like that. Finally, at a little after 6:00 a.m., I was reminded of the sermon I heard at my childhood church a few weekends ago at the Mother’s Day service. The church got a new pastor a few months ago, so I was interested to see what he was like, even though I don’t go to church much anymore.

He was telling us the story of Hannah and how she desperately wanted a baby after constant rejection from God. She sent a prayer to Him dedicating her son’s life to the church if He’d only give her a son. The big lesson here was that Hannah got what she wanted from God. She did this by praying, and then continuing to live her life.

“If you’re going to pray,” the pastor said, “don’t worry, and if you’re going to worry, don’t pray.”

That’s what I’ve been trying to focus on for the past couple of weeks since I heard the sermon. Pray and live, pray and live, I tell myself. For a while I was doing good. Then I went on vacation and the practice stopped. When I got back home, I realized I’d abandoned the method altogether. So, finally, early this morning as the light drifted in through my window, I prayed.

And then I tried not to worry about it.

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3 Responses to “Pray and Live”

  1. Debbie @ OtRD May 23, 2011 at 10:01 am #

    I often find myself awake too, just thinking and worrying when I would rather be asleep. This is a great way to look at it and very inspirational!

  2. Noel May 22, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

    Worrying is trying to live the future and missing the present. I have also tried to live in the present ,by asking God to continue to take care of things in the future, and teach me to take care of the things I can actually change. God bless.

    • aliceinwaiting May 22, 2011 at 8:22 pm #

      Thanks for stopping by. This is something I struggle with every day. My mom worries all the time, and I try not to let it affect me. It can be hard though, especially when she calls every night, and every time I visit my parents she’s always jostled up with something to worry about. It drives me insane. That’s why that sermon was so important to me. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and I think it will help me out a lot.

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